A Jonathan Janz inspired story

I love Jonathan Janz.  No, not LOVE love him (he's married with children and I'm not that kind of a lady), but love like you would a really awesome friend.  The other day he shared on his Facebook about his trip to a Chinese restaurant with his children and it cracked me up so much - but at the same time I completely felt his pain.  So, I am going to share my horribly embarrassing moment now ...

 

*big cheezy grin*

 

For anyone who doesn't know, I have twin nieces that will be 13 this June.  For the first 9 1/2 years of their lives, I helped raise them.  In fact, during some of those years, I was their sole caretaker (my mother their sole provider) because my sister had ... other things to do.  I love these two like nothing else and during those years we spent a lot of time together.  (They're like my own kids really.)

 

When they were around 4, I was working with them on being polite in public and had told them that being gassy, especially on purpose, was not being polite - that you should either ignore it or, if someone looks at you funny, say excuse me. 

 

The three of us were at the mall and all three of us had to use the restroom (I don't know why I feel like I have to tell everyone it was to pee, but it was) so, of course, we share a stall.  We were getting ready to walk back out of the stall and the lady in the stall next to us farts - I mean FAAAARRRTTTS - and Ris (the older of the two, by 30 seconds) looks at me, you know that look, like she's going to say something and you're going to be horribly embarrassed, yup that look.  I, of course, try to stop her - and fail *hangs head low*  She hollers out "MEGHAN!!  That lady faaarrrrttteeed and she didn't say excuuuuuuuuuusee meeeeeeee!"  If I could have died...  I give her the look, you know, the look that says you're dead when we walk out of this bathroom and she, of course, goes "What?  She did?  Why aren't we leaving?"  I tell her to shhh, Idgie (the younger of the two, by 30 seconds) tells her to shhh ... and Ris has no clue.  We stand in this little ass stall waiting for that lady to leave ... and she doesn't.  Finally I realize that she's probably waiting for us to go so we go and wash our hands, then leave - and while walking through the mall I'm telling Ris that we don't act like that, that it was rude and she, still (cause she's around 4) doesn't understand why she's in trouble for being rude and the lady, who was also rude, didn't get into trouble.  (Sometimes those two are too smart for their own good.)  I drop it and think we're home free when a couple of hours later Ris stops abruptly (we're holding hands) and yells "MEGHAN!!  There's that LAAAAADDDYYY that FAAAAAARRTTTTEEEDD in the bathroom and didn't say EXCUUUUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEE.  Those are her SHOOOOOOOEEESSS!!"  Everyone looks at us.  Again, if I could have died...  The lady walks up to us and whispers excuse me and hurries off.  I look at Ris with that look like what the hell?!?! and she says, "If she would have said excuse me in the first place, I wouldn't be in trouble ... AGAIN!"

 

*sigh*

 

hahahahahahahahahaha